Children Are Quick

I found These Funny Kids Jokes Online, Enjoy!


TEACHER—Glenn, How do you spell “Crocodile” ?
TEACHER—-No that’s wrong.
     GLENN—Maybe it is wrong, but you asked how I spell it.
TEACHER—Clyde, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your Brother’s…Did you copy him?
 CLYDE—-No. Sir. It’s the same dog.
TEACHER—Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
TEACHER–  Glenn, why do you always get so dirty?
 GLENN—Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER—Why are you late?
  STUDENT—-Class started before I got here.
TEACHER—John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
  JOHN—You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER—Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER—What are you talking about?
  DONALD—Yesterday you said it’s H to O.



‘Twas midnight in the schoolroom
And every desk was shut
When suddenly from the alphabet
Was heard a loud “Tut-Tut!”Said A to B, “I don’t like C;
His manners are a lack.
For all I ever see of C
Is a semi-circular back!”

“I disagree,” said D to B,
“I’ve never found C so.
From where I stand he seems to be
An uncompleted O.”

C was vexed, “I’m much perplexed,
You criticise my shape.
I’m made like that, to help spell Cat
And Cow and Cool and Cape.”

“He’s right” said E; said F, “Whoopee!”
Said G, “‘Ip, ‘Ip, ‘ooray!”
“You’re dropping me,” roared H to G.
“Don’t do it please I pray.”

“Out of my way,” LL said to K.
“I’ll make poor I look ILL.”
To stop this stunt J stood in front,
And presto! ILL was JILL.

“U know,” said V, “that W
Is twice the age of me.
For as a Roman V is five
I’m half as young as he.”

X and Y yawned sleepily,
“Look at the time!” they said.
“Let’s all get off to beddy byes.”
They did, then “Z-z-z.”

By Spike Milligan

Children Are

“Amazing, acknowledge them.
  Believable, trust them.
Childlike, allow them.
    Divine, honor them.
Energetic, nourish them.
   Fallible, embrace them.
Gifts, treasure them.
   Here now, be with them.
Innocent, delight with them.
   Joyful, appreciate them.
Kindhearted, learn from them.
  Lovable, cherish them.
Magical, fly with them.
   Noble, esteem them.
Open minded, respect them.
    Precious, value them.
Questioners, encourage them.
    Resourceful, support them.
Spontaneous, enjoy them.
     Talented, believe in them.
Unique, affirm them.
  Vulnerable, protect them.
Whole, recognize them.
     Xtraspecial, celebrate them.
Yearning, notice them.
   Zany, laugh with them.”

Inspirational Sayings

“If we knew what tomorrow held, we wouldn’t need our dreams, our plans. But tomorrow is an unanswered question, a new challenge to face, and always a new adventure to explore.”

“Cherish the memories of yesterday, savor the joys of today, nurture the promise of tomorrow.”

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.” George Bernard Shaw

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift; that’s why they call it the present.” Eleanor Roosevelt

“Take time for your family, to love, to laugh and play. To cherish each moment and treasure each day.”

“The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.” Woody Allen

One quote a parent should always use is: “Be a parent first, and a friend second.”

“Every sixty seconds you spend angry, upset, or mad, is a full minute of happiness you’ll never get back.”

“One thing you can’t recycle is wasted time.”

“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is.” Angela Schwindt

Day Care Provider Poem

“Although you’re not their mother,
You care for them each day.
You cuddle, sing, and read to them
And watch them as they play.
You see each new accomplishment
You help them grow and learn
You understand their language
And you listen with concern.
They come to you for comfort
And you kiss away their tears
They proudly show their work to you
You give the loudest cheers!
No, you are not their mother
But your role is just as strong
You nurture them and keep them safe
Though not for long…
You know someday the time will come
When you will have to part
But you know each child you’ve cared for
Is forever in your heart!”